


Admiration

by NightmareWolf



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Unrequited Love, also may be a bit ooc im trying my best, is a oneshot but may become a story (probably not), sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9977906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareWolf/pseuds/NightmareWolf
Summary: Love? Feelings? All of it seemed very complex to Jataro. But once he falls victim to these unwanted emotions, he had no choice but to attempt to figure them out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Woot another story!! Or oneshot, whatever you wanna call it.  
> The writing in this one is third-person but reads more like a narration and has some humor in it so??? Hopefully that's cool.

Jataro was never good with emotions. Always having his feelings thrown to the side and acted like they weren't even worth a penny probably was a big contributor to it; _feeling_ and being true to those feelings was just...hard. It's like that one problem you have that you aaaaalways want to avoid and just never think about, but you know you have to face it sometime. Thus, you always tell yourself "I'll think about another day," but "another day" never comes. It's akin to that, you could say. So, if you're already having trouble with feeling, what could be the single worse thing to happen to you? Falling in love, of course*!

*(There are probably worse things that could happen to you emotionally at this point _besides_ falling in love—maybe a friend dying or the Disney employ taking off his Mickey Mouse head in the middle of work, ruining the magic—but still. Falling in love is quite troubling.)

Jataro has always admired the Warriors to some extent. Because of his excessive self-loathing he never saw anything in himself that was good. But he definitely saw something in _others._ Nagisa's smarts, calmness, and assertiveness. Kotoko's energy, acting, and boldness. Monaca's sweetness, friendliness, and kindness. Masaru's bravery, athletic skills, and cheeriness. Why, he asked himself, can he not be more like them? Of course—maybe he doesn't want to be like them. After all, Monaca's entire personality turned out to be a facade. Are the others like that too?

...Nah, that's unlikely.

Deciding this, Jataro went on with his flatteringly (and probably unhealthy) subtle admiration for his friends. However, there was one friend he admired far more than the others. Somebody who was everything Jataro _wasn't_. He was strong, cool, charismatic, brave, likeable, loyal, and _cute_.

Masaru Daimon.

Upon realizing he had a crush on somebody that is his friend and was in their former kill-all-adults group—not to mention that person was _also_ a boy—Jataro did what anybody would do and lied in his bed, clutching a pillow to his chest and panicking.

This was bad. Ohhhh so bad. Word couldn't even _describe_ the catastrophe of this situation. It was like life as Jataro knew it was coming crashing down.

First of, this violated his own creed. If he, or anybody else, couldn't like him, how could he have a boyfriend? It made no sense! He loved Masaru, but he both wants his feelings to be requited and not at the same time? What kind of convoluted dilemma is _that?_

Plus, he was disgusting. It's universally well-known fact at this point. There'd be no _way_ Masaru would like him back, so what's the point? 

Needless to say, he hated this.

_Hated_ this.

***

Since love was such a foreign concept to Jataro, the feeling along with it was also foreign. It made him feel sick. No, not in the typical way. It was like that hard-to-describe deep pit of dread and anxiety in your stomach, mixed in with the feeling of an itch you can't scratch. Was that normal to feel? Or did he just need to see a doctor? Either way, it wasn't pleasant. He just wanted the feeling to stop. It made him want to claw his chest open.

What was worse, the feelings doubled in power when he was around Masaru. He gets all nervous and stuttery, loses his composure and doesn't know what to say. Masaru usually laughs it off or makes a joke about it. Hey, that isn't the worst outcome. Plus it's not like Masaru doesn't do it on a daily basis already.

 

Jataro was left thinking about Masaru constantly. He was such a great person, why did nobody else see it? No words could ever capture how amazing he was. Well, actually, maybe stunning? Incredible? Breath-taking? grandiose? No, there were no truly accurate words. Nevermind.

He wanted to spend a lot more time with Masaru; play silly sports with him and listen to him talk. Maybe hold his hand and draw a picture or two for him. He was getting flustered at just the _idea_ of it all. Was this what love felt like? Was this it? Or was he just fooling himself? Perhaps it was just a deep admiration and nothing more? Love was an emotion he had never felt before, and emotion nobody had ever shown to him before. How should he know what it was like? It was painful, yes, but it was also beautiful in a sense. One of those emotions that just makes him want to take out a canvas and paints and illustrate his feelings with the vivid blend of colors...one of those emotions.

But of course, with this came confusion. Like the aforementioned questions. Was it love? admiration? Something entirely different? He'd love answers, and he...actually had an idea where to get them. Sure, he could ask Kotoko, but he wanted to ask somebody more...experienced. Smart. Nagisa.

 

***

It was a Thursday afternoon. Or was it Thursday? Jataro wasn't a good time tracker.

Anyhow...it was an afternoon. The skies were a light grey and winds were picking up. The psithurism was becoming more violent and leaves were being swept off the grass. It was a sign that it may start raining soon—which didn't bother Jataro. He liked rainy season.

The house was mellow and not much was happening. Plus, Nagisa wasn't doing anything besides reading. This struck Jataro as the perfect opportunity to ask for answers and advice.

The boy sauntered over to where Nagisa was seated in a chair. He stopped by the side of said chair, taking a few moments to look at the book Nagisa was reading before addressing his issue.

"...Nagisa," Jataro spoke, leaning closer to his friend.

Nagisa looked up from his book and turned to Jataro. "Yes?"

"Uh...hey, I need to ask you somethin'..." Jataro rocked back and forth on his heels subtly (it was a nervous habit of his.)

"That would be?" Nagisa questioned.

"Do you know what love is?"

The question caught Nagisa off guard. He averted his eyes to the side to think for a moment, before finally sighing. "Well, that's a simple question with a broad answer." he bookmarked his spot in his book before placing it in his lap. "By definition, it is a strong connection to somebody, whether it be romantically, platonic, or sexually. It's a feeling that can be often hard to describe. Why do you ask?"

"Well...cuz, you know, I..." Jataro drew a blank as to what to say. He didn't want to tell Nagisa the truth. "Because there's a lotta things I don't get...like why do we draw hearts in that cartoony shape? Real hearts don't look like that. Who do you think came up with that idea?"

Nagisa frowned. "You're obviously dodging the question."

"Uhh...I just wanted to know that if I, theoretically, did fall into that gross, weird love, what should I do...?"

"That I cannot answer," Nagisa told him flatly. "It's different for a lot of people, plus I'm not an expert. I doubt I could provide any worthwhile advice."

"Are you sure, not even a liiiittle?" Jataro leaned in closer, standing on his toes now. "You got nothin'?"

Nagisa looked slightly vexed, but thought anyway. He looked out the window, tiny water droplets were now softly hitting against the window. "If I had to say anything, I'd advise you...don't fall in love with the wrong person."

***

At the end of the day, Jataro didn't know.

Didn't know what to think, didn't know what was going on with his feelings, and didn't know if Masaru was the..."right" person.

He had thought long and hard about what Nagisa told him. It was a simple sentence yet it felt like much more than that.

He wanted to tell Masaru how he felt. He wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He wanted Masaru to know. But then again, he was scared. And he wasn't sure. He still had a lot of figuring out to do. What with these feelings and Jataro still trying to understand concept of being in love. Heck, he still wasn't sure if this _was_ love. Maybe he's just a weirdo who is waaaay too enthusiastic about his friend. Maybe.

Maybe he'd tell Masaru one day. Maybe he'd never tell Masaru. But he knew one thing for sure:

Damn, was he cute.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!! Comments of any type are appreciated!


End file.
